Blogging The Bombers

Yankees High School

George Steinbrenner: The principal that suspends everyone for minor infractions to the rules.

Hank Steinbrenner: The assistant principal that thinks he is the boss but really has to ask daddy if he wants to do something.

Brian Cashman: The head of the admission department, under a lot of pressure to recruit brains to the school.

Joe Torre: The recently fired teacher who was everyone’s favorite but the administration didn’t think he did a good enough job.

Joe Girardi: The teacher who took Joe Torres place.

Derek Jeter: Captain of the football team, baseball team basketball team, 3 sport athlete golden child who has a GPA of 4.0 and goes out with just about every girl in school.

Alex Rodriguez: Alex is that rich kid who often whines about everything. He drives a BMW and everyone keeps him around because he offers to pay for everything

Robby Cano and Melky Cabrera:

Phil Hughes:  California surfer dude, he is always walking around with his board, shorts on and his Shell necklaces spouting catch phrases like sup bra. Or whooooooa man that was radical.

Kei Igawa: The Asian dork with glasses and braces
with a calculator in his hand with a huge backpack.

Joba Chamberlain: The incoming freshman everybody knows about because he got with one of his friends’ mom, a MILF.

Hideki Matsui: The foreign exchange student that lives with the hottest girl in the school. He has to watch her get double teamed by Cano and Melky. That’s how he gets in with the cool kids.

Johnny Damon: That stoner who always looks like he’s in outer space and having a normal conversation with him is almost impossible.

Roger Clemens: That older creepy guy who always goes to HS parties thinking he is the man but everyone just looks at him like dude why are you here? But then they realize he brought the alcohol so they allow him to stay.

Kyle Farnsworth: The virgin who got a tattoo thinking he’s bad ass but in reality he’s the 2^nd biggest loser in the school. (Kei Igawa is the biggest)

Andy Pettitte: The handsome, intelligent, southern-gentleman senior who has all the girls wanting him bad. He drives all the ladies crazy and is a big flirt, but is always faithful to his girlfriend back home in Texas. He’s the teachers’ favorite student and gets along with all the cliques in the school. He’s president of the student council, star athlete and throws the sickest parties at the mansion he lives in. His personality is great; he’s a gentleman and an all around nice guy. All the guys want to be him; all the girls want to be with him.

Mike Mussina: Andy Pettitte’s close friend but just doesn’t have his charisma, so in reality he’s really his sidekick. He’s smart as hell and the school was considering changing the GPA system because Moose deserves more than a 4.0… He’s just that smart. He got accepted into all the Ivy League colleges and can’t decide which to go to. He’s every mother’s dream son, and dads always say to their daughters “Why don’t you date that Mike Mussina kid?” He gets lucky with the ladies because they see him as the gateway to Andy. Moose knows this, but isn’t complaining: it gets him laid.

Chien-Ming Wang: The Taiwanese foreign exchange student who just transferred and only speaks two words of English: Fuck and You. Everyone thought he was some skinny little Asian nerd who only wanted to solve math problems all the time, until some bullies tried to push him around and he broke one bully’s neck with a Naihanchi kata. Everyone knew not to fuck with him after that. His only weakness is when he goes anywhere other than his school: he gets panic attacks.

Bobby Abreu: Foreign kid. Really funny, always down for a good party, but knows when it’s time to work. He’s a solid B+ type of student, but has a lot of school pride.

Wilson Betemeit: The guy whose not really good at anything, he gets lots of B’s and C’s but he always willing to step in for someone who wants to cut class when a sub comes…thus he has racked up lots of money from being paid to do so.

Jose Molina: The kid that eats all the food, he will come over your house and walk right yelling “hello” until you respond. He will open your refrigerator without asking and just take your food and ask to have some almost in a tone that says I’m eating this. He will eat anyone’s left overs, he will drink about 8-10 cans of coke a day, he will get 2 meals from Taco Bell.

Edwar Ramirez: The kid who doesn’t eat anything at lunch and will always sell his lunch for cash.

Carl Pavano: The kid who is always in the nurse’s office.

Michael Kay: Runs the school newspaper. Also an occasional sub who is an absolute jackass who thinks he’s the best.

Bobby Murcer: English teacher- He’s been here forever! Still remembers kids name from 50 years ago, yet goes off on stories from about 100 years ago. Easy grader.

Ken Singleton: Music teacher-At one point worked as jazz musician. Loves to remind everyone of that fact-every twenty seconds. Nice though.

AND FINALLY…..

Yogi Berra: The school janitor. He’s been here since the damn school opened. Always has the school cleaned before class, and after. He loves to chat with kids. Gets respect from the teachers as he does his job so well, and loves to be around people. He loves nothing more than to tell stories about the old days, but always is there to hear out a problem